You Really Owe it to Yourself

An old friend used to say this every time someone in the group pretend-struggled whether to choose a dessert or a second glass of wine.   

The phrase always garnered a kind of knowing laughter because the “battle” was always lost in the end, but only after a disingenuous exercise in self-denial. 

Obviously, we don’t need the whole cake, delicious though it may be, but why the hand-wringing?

Perhaps this phenomenon is another example of a fear based response. Kind of ironic, since the survival brain means to help us…well…survive, and starvation is a far bigger problem in the world than dessert. 

Let’s think of it this way: You’re having a dinner party and you’ve served a special confection as delightful to behold as it tastes. One of your cherished guests asks for “just a tiny sliver more”.  Would you struggle with this? Remind her she’s probably met her calorie budget for that meal? Glance wide-eyed at the other guests as you fulfill her request? Leave your own plate empty because you are quite full with your own smugness, thank-you-very-much? 

I seriously doubt it (or at least I hope not). And yet we say and do all these nasty little hateful things to ourselves on a regular basis. Honestly? That’s just mean.

I’m reminded of the saying,

“If you replace dessert with half a grapefruit, you can eliminate 90% of what little joy you have left in your life.”

Listen, I know that plenty of people want to alter their weight for a variety of reasons, and for many it is a tricky, tricky thing, genetics and metabolism and aging being what they are. All I’m asking is why pile the shame and misery on ourselves when we wouldn’t dream of treating another living being that way? 

We can have our quality food and drink, and our self-discipline, and our self-kindness all in the same moment. 

Be nice. You really owe it to yourself.